One of my favorite spiritual authors is Dr. David Richo, a psychotherapist who works in Santa Barbara, California. His website says, "He combines Jungian, poetic and mythic perspectives in his work with the intention of integrating the psychological and the spiritual. His books and workshops include attention to Buddhist and Christian spiritual practices."
Earlier this year I finished Dr. Richo's book, The Five Things We Cannot Change...and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them. The five things we cannot change, Richo explains, are the unavoidable "givens" of life, facts of life over which we are powerless. Resistance to these immutable facts are often at the root of deep-seated internal struggles, such as feelings of disappointment, unhappiness, frustration and lack of fulfillment.
In the introduction to his book, Dr. Richo reminds us of the serenity prayer:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
The five things we cannot change are:
1. Everything changes and ends.
2. Things do not always go according to plan.
3. Life is not always fair.
4. Pain is a part of life.
5. People are not loving and loyal all the time.
Dr. Richo states that the five givens are unavoidable challenges that we all face, but we continue to struggle with accepting them as...well, unavoidable challenges that we all face. He goes on to explain how to accept the five givens by accepting the reality of them and eventually saying "yes" to them with practices such as mindfulness, lovingkindness, acceptance and surrender.
I highly recommend the book. Although it is only a little over 150 pages, it isn't something you will likely tackle in a day or even a week. You will probably want to take it slowly (like I did) so you can think about, practice and integrate the ideas presented by the author.
Excerpts from The Five Things We Cannot Change...and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them by David Richo